Don't Roll a One

Don’t do it.

There are so many other ways to spend your time wisely, and far more fun ways to waste your time. I have created this list in a brief moment of lucidity to save you, my future self, when you feel EVE’s bewildering temptation:

• It is not additional content for House of the Dying Sun. Nothing will fill that hole in your heart.
• Playing with friends won’t be like Squadrons.
• Go work on your game instead of wasting 25 minutes on autopilot.
• “Playing” EVE is clicking on cells in a spreadsheet with a pretty desktop background.
• You already have multiple real jobs, you don’t need a fake one.
• Remember that time back in the 2000s where you set autopilot, went shopping, and came back?
• If you want to bash capital ships together there is Nebulous: Fleet Command.
• If you want to rush around coordinating spaceships with your friends there is Jump Space or Void Crew or even Carrier Command 2.
• If you want the rush of trying to accomplish something and then losing your time and effort to a human troll, think back to your time playing GTA Online.

Also, even before you say “What about ____” I have a whole other list in my pocket waiting for your dumb ass:

• No, you don’t like Elite Dangerous. It’s too grindy and the dogfights feel like soap bubbles.
• No, you don’t want Star Citizen. Come on, man.